Break Down the Walls of Your Avoided Tasks
Are there things on your to-do list that have been on there for what feels like forever?
Maybe it's a task that you hate, or just looking at it on the list fills you with feelings of overwhelm and dread.
Whatever the reason, it is very common for ADHDers to have tasks that need done, but they keep getting pushed back, day after day, week after week.
The problem comes when these tasks become overdue or you experience a negative impact to yourself or someone else while the avoided task continues to sit on your list, untouched.
Why is it so hard?
Before we can decide how to tackle our avoided tasks and get them off our to-do list, we first need to understand why we have been avoiding them. Without knowing the why, we won't know the best tool to use to break through the avoidance and start on the task.
Try asking yourself a few questions to figure out the why:
When you look at this task on your list, what emotions do you experience? Are they positive or negative?
Is this task related to a past experience? Was that experience negative?
Are there limiting beliefs you can see about this task? Name them.
Are you making assumptions? What are they?
What do you know to be true about this task?
Choosing the right tool for the avoided job
Once you have answered a few questions about the task, it's time to start looking for tools to break down the walls of your avoidance.
While there are a million reasons someone might avoid doing something, I tend to see these four reasons most often:
Dislike the task
ADHD Time
Overwhelm
Emotional response
If you can pinpoint the main reason you are avoiding the task, you can start to find the right tool or strategy to get started and stop avoiding.
Finding the right Avoidance tools
Here are some tools and strategies for the different reasons to avoid a task I mentioned earlier:
Dislike the task
Whether you have ADHD or not, everyone has something they don't like to do. Whether it's yard work, housework, or paperwork, we can all think of something we would rather be doing instead of those tasks.
The next time you are faced with something you can't stand doing, find ways to make it fun. Listening to a favorite playlist, setting a timer to race against the clock, or creating a game with or without someone else can help you fly through some of these tasks and finish with a smile on your face.
ADHD Time
If you have ADHD, you probably have a complicated relationship with time—including knowing how long something will take to complete. You may be avoiding a task because "it's going to take too long" or "I don't have time to work on this", but that may not be the case.
Instead, when you find yourself in this all-or-nothing thinking spiral, try spending a few minutes thinking about the task. Try to find something you can start and work on for a specific amount of time. Then, set the timer and get started.
Overwhelm
For those tasks where you immediately feel overwhelmed just thinking about it, it's possible the task on your list is too big. This means there are too many steps involved in this one thing on your list. Take a few minutes to break down the task into smaller, individual steps. Once you are looking at just one step of the bigger project, it doesn't seem so overwhelming.
Emotional response
There are plenty of emotions that could be triggered by your avoided task. Things like anger, frustration, fear, shame, or others can make you feel like that task is the very last thing you want to do.
Start by approaching the task with an open mind and without judgment. See if you can try to understand why the task brings up such powerful emotions. Once you learn the reason for the emotions, you may be able to start to work through those emotions and get back to the task you've been avoiding.
It's time to start getting things done!
I hope you can find some strategies worth adding to your ADHD toolbox to help break down the walls of avoidance and start marking things off your list again.
Thank you for your time and attention,
Nikki
