425: The Sudden Reality of Working at Home
In part 2 of our special podcast on pandemic anxiety and ADHD we’re talking about the more practical fears that crop up around this unprecedented transition: how do you work from home?
That makes it sound far more simple than it is… take it from us! As two people who have been working from home for more than a decade, we know just how complicated it can be to juggle the distractions and demands of work and home when the two worlds collide. But we’re here to tell you: it can be done, and you might even find a few things to appreciate about the experience.
Episode Transcript
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Pete Wright: Hello everybody, and welcome to Taking Control, the ADHD podcast on Rash Pixel FM. I'm Pete Wright, and right there is Nikki Kinzer.
Nikki Kinzer: I think I'm here, I'm not really sure. I lost contact with Pete. I could hear him-
Pete Wright: It was scary.
Nikki Kinzer: ... but I couldn't see him.
Pete Wright: Yeah, no, it's good. It's good that you're back in touch. This is a bit of a special week. We're jumping in and talking about some coronavirus stuff as many media outlets are, but our perspective is, yes, anxiety, stress, the unknown. It also is incredibly jarring and fearful if you are suddenly asked to work from home and figure out how to upend your life and do all this stuff all at once. And there is a lot too that goes into that in the spirit of-
Nikki Kinzer: There is.
Pete Wright: ... these kinds of things. So we wanted to talk about that. That's what you're hearing. That's what we're hearing in the community.
Pete Wright: And we just finished an episode with the good Dr. Doug, Doug Herr, who was here talking to us about the emotional perspective, working through the feelings that you're going through. So if you haven't seen that, just go back to the episode right before this and you will be able to take a listen to that. As always, he's fantastic, that Doug.
Nikki Kinzer: He is.
Pete Wright: He's good looking.
Nikki Kinzer: That's a joy.
Pete Wright: Smart. Just a lot to like about that Doug. Anyhow, you know the drill. Head over to Take Control ADHD to get to know us a little bit better. Get the show notes, the whole thing. I'm just going to jump into it. I think we should just jump into it because there's some important stuff. So you're facing-
Nikki Kinzer: I agree.
Pete Wright: ... the fear of change of working from home. Nikki Kinzer, where do you start?
Nikki Kinzer: Well, first of all, I just want to say this is happening, obviously, to people all over. And it's a very big thing with my clientele because I'm seeing professionals who need to work from home. But I also have college students, who all of their universities have been closed and they're going to be working online at home or wherever they are, but definitely not going to classes. So there is this fear of what does this mean for somebody that has ADHD because you can get really distracted at home. Here they've taken all of this time and energy to get used to where they are and now all of that is being changed.
Pete Wright: Well, and the timing just couldn't be more perfect since we just finished our Epic series on ADHD at Work and setting up your accommodations at work and, boom, everybody go home.
Nikki Kinzer: Yeah, I mean there's a lot of things. So if you think about, what does that mean, where do you even start? I have a computer, but what, what is this even, where do I even start to kind of wrap your head around this. So I have some practical tips for people that I'm hoping that this will at least give you somewhat of a roadmap to go by and ease some of your anxiety about working from home. Pete and I have worked from home for years and we love it. So it is not a bad thing.
Pete Wright: But there is a learning curve.
Nikki Kinzer: There is a learning curve and there are some things to keep in mind. So the first one is really trying to maintain as close to your normal schedule as possible. So if you are to be in the office at 9:00 AM, I would say, be at your desk whatever that looks like, or your computer, and we're going to talk about work environments in just a second. But be at work at 9:00 AM. Get ready for work as you normally would. Now you may not have to get up at the same time because you don't have a commute. That can be actually a benefit to this.
Pete Wright: Right. Gives you a bit of runway to get started in your day.
Nikki Kinzer: Absolutely. But again, I would say just make sure you're at your computer when you need to be, whether that's 8:00, or 9:00, or whatever.
Pete Wright: We did exactly that. We have a normal routine that I talked about on the show this morning. This is day one, as we're recording this, this is day one of kids' school closures, and all that. We actually went forward and the kids set their alarm for a normal school day. My daughter was up at 6:00 this morning, a normal school day. We were down making breakfast, my wife took the dog for a walk and my daughter and my son set alarms for their regular school session and they went in and did the homework that has been assigned from their school during the time that they would normally be in class.
Pete Wright: So right now my kids are up doing their homework for each of the classes that they have throughout the day. And that is introducing a sense of order to this. So I'm coming down, I podcast with you, I do this kind of thing. We're all going to check in at lunch together and then we're back to school and work. And I don't know if that's sustainable for two weeks, or eight weeks.
Nikki Kinzer: I don't know.
Pete Wright: I don't know. But we're going to give it-
Nikki Kinzer: It's a good place to start.
Pete Wright: Yes, we're going to give it our all, alarms and accountability buddies for the win.
Nikki Kinzer: That's right. That's right. We've talked about this before too. If you're not productive in sweats and pajamas, don't wear them. Dress as you would if you were going to work. Now, that may not mean you have to wear a suit, but again, you have to know yourself. If wearing pajamas makes you want to just go to sleep and not be productive, then at least get ready for the day. Take a shower, get ready for the day and go from there.
Pete Wright: Wear shoes with soles.
Nikki Kinzer: That's right.
Pete Wright: Right. Wears shoes with a low heel.
Nikki Kinzer: Except I don't wear shoes.
Pete Wright: You don't wear shoes? Oh, I see. I have house shoes. I have these keen house shoes and they are very soft, but they have soles on them and I never wear them outside, but they actually feel like I'm wearing on the inside, on my feet side, they're nice and cozy. But they also give me enough support to make me feel like, "Oh, I'm a real human being. I'm wearing pants ..."
Nikki Kinzer: I still feel like a real human being. I'm just not wearing shoes.
Pete Wright: You just don't know. I'm just saying if you struggle with that, if you feel too cozy-
Nikki Kinzer: Absolutely, that's the thing.
Pete Wright: You have years of practice doing this now, right? So if you're feeling cozy, you can send your brain little signals of, "Oh, I have to be a professional right now by wearing shoes with some soles," not fuzzy slippers.
Nikki Kinzer: Absolutely. That's the point, is how do you feel? Right, right. How are you going to feel-
Pete Wright: Triggers.
Nikki Kinzer: ... and be productive, exactly, those triggers. So this is an idea from my client that I was talking to last week. She was saying that somebody was telling her that instead of having your morning commute, because obviously you don't have it anymore, take a walk during that time that you would be commuting. I thought that was a great idea.
Pete Wright: That's really good.
Nikki Kinzer: Gets in the exercise, but it also, well, if you listen to our podcast during the commute-
Pete Wright: There you go.
Nikki Kinzer: ... you can do it while you're doing your walk. So that was something that came from a listener client and I thought that was a great idea. Don't forget to take your medication.
Pete Wright: Set your alarms.
Nikki Kinzer: Just because you're at home doesn't mean that you don't need to take your medication. So definitely make sure that you're making a point of that.
Nikki Kinzer: This is the biggest thing that I think can get wishy washy, is really designating a spot in your home that's going to be your work area. I've been talking to a couple of people about this. I've been talking to some students who are going to have to do some online school. And she was talking about her apartment's really small, but she was going to put a table against a wall and she was going to make that her study area. Had another client that was telling me today that she's doing the same thing. She didn't want her kitchen to be her desk. So she put a card table, put it over on the side somewhere and that's going to be her little work area.
Nikki Kinzer: I think that's a good idea because it separates, this is for work. I don't recommend working on your bed. I don't recommend working on the couch, those things will make you sleepy. You're at home and so your mind isn't trained to know the difference yet, so it's going to be really easy to get caught up in watching Netflix when you should be working.
Pete Wright: That's exactly it. If I'm on the couch, I will turn on the TV. I will say to myself, "No TV," but also somehow maybe I'm like using the force and I grab the remote. It's in my hand, I don't know how it got there. I will turn on the TV. It's scientifically proven. Don't turn on the TV.
Nikki Kinzer: Don't do that. Yeah, just stop.
Pete Wright: In case that's not clear.
Nikki Kinzer: Yeah. I also think it's a good idea to set goals for your day. I think this is a good idea anyway, no matter what, but I specifically think this is important when you're working from home. You're not used to it, you're not working around your coworkers, your colleagues, and so have some things in mind that you want to accomplish that day. Not saying that you want to have 15 things on your to-do list, but have some really tangible things like, "I need to make sure I talk to five people," or whatever your job is. Just setting that intention for the day I think can be really helpful, because it just makes it a clearer path of what you need to get done.
Nikki Kinzer: Okay. You mentioned accountability-
Pete Wright: I did.
Nikki Kinzer: ... that you guys are all keeping yourselves accountable. So couple other ideas that I have for people, especially students and also in the professional realm, get together, not in person, but talk to your colleagues, talk to your fellow students about how you guys can work together as accountability partners throughout this time. So whether that is in the morning, you guys both set your goals, talk to each other about it, check in at the end of the day or in the middle of the day. Have a body double Zoom, work times where you put Zoom on, you put Facebook on, or FaceTime, whatever it is. And you guys work together as you guys can still see each other, but it's through the computer, right?
Pete Wright: It's a study hall. If you're a member of this community, you're a fan of the study halls.
Nikki Kinzer: That's what it is.
Pete Wright: Yeah, that's what we're doing. You open up Zoom, go into the accountability channel and Discord and you can jump into study halls. That is what we're talking about. Give yourself, just-
Nikki Kinzer: It is so important.
Pete Wright: It's huge. It's huge.
Nikki Kinzer: It is. I'm not a betting person, but I'm willing to bet on this one, that you will increase your productivity if you have a body double or somebody that you are working alongside with, even though it's not in person. Just having that other spirit around you makes a huge difference. So if you are part of Discord, definitely check out the accountability channel and again, if you're not necessarily part of our Discord, talk to a student, talk to somebody, because they're in the same boat as you are. Whether they have ADHD or not, they're still probably wondering how are they going to get their work done. Because working at home, when you're not used to it, there's just a lot of distraction, a lot of stuff that can happen.
Pete Wright: In fact, I would argue that you, living with ADHD, are incredibly well-equipped to help others make this transition.
Nikki Kinzer: Yeah, absolutely.
Pete Wright: Because you know what it means to be crazy distracted and how to get to the other side of it. So if you have someone who is in your life who is really struggling with this change, it can be very empowering and ignobling to actually help others through this thing. And sometimes it will help you shave away your own fear and anxiety by helping others overcome theirs.
Nikki Kinzer: Yeah. Yeah. The other thing I would want to talk about, which goes into to this idea too, with the accountability and Zoom and all of this, is staying connected, because when you do work by yourself, or you work alone at home, it can feel isolating for sure. You don't have just that person next to you that you can talk to or go on lunch with. So definitely do try to stay connected, even if it is a Zoom lunch with a friend, "Let's have coffee. Let's have lunch together," and just stay connected that way through the internet. We mentioned this in our last show. For this to happen right now, the coronavirus to happen, this is a great era for it to happen because we can be connected online. So we want to take full advantage of that during this time.
Nikki Kinzer: Eliminate those known distractions. Your phone is probably going to be one of the biggest distractions that you're going to have. Chores, walking by the kitchen and seeing that you need to clean the kitchen. The exception here is what Pete Wright does and that is, he uses the laundry as a break, and I think that's great if you can stick to it. If you just know going into it, that, "I got to get up, I got to take a little bit of a break. I'm going to go put some laundry in, going to go back to work." It has to be assistive. It has to have some intention behind it.
Pete Wright: Well, and it also only really works one day a week.
Nikki Kinzer: True-
Pete Wright: The reality is-
Nikki Kinzer: ... because you're not doing laundry all the time.
Pete Wright: ... I don't have that much laundry. I can get through it in a handful of loads, and then I need these other accommodations. So you're absolutely right, remove distractions unless you're using them as a timer, and then go back to work.
Nikki Kinzer: And then that's great. But, if you're supposed to be at work, working, don't do the dishes, like that's not the time to do it. Do it later when you're on a break, or whatever. We do want to take breaks and you do want to move around. It's not good for anybody to be sitting at their desk all day. So take those little breaks, get outside as Dr. Doug Herr was talking about, breathe, look at nature, enjoy nature, but breathe and take a break.
Pete Wright: Our bodies were made to move, I love that.
Nikki Kinzer: I know. I love that too. I love that too. But use your timers to keep on track. These accommodations, these tools, are going to be really important to you when you're at home, because it's just too easy to lose track of things, or lose track of time, specifically. Strive for good enough, but not perfection. No one really knows what we're doing right now. This is all trial and error. So the biggest thing that I want to tell the ADHDers out there is, adjusting to this is going to be difficult, but you're not alone. It's not just you. It's the whole world and separate any kind of shame that you might feel about this transition, because it is hard. It is asking a lot of you, but you're not doing anything wrong. You're trying to figure it out. Does that make sense?
Nikki Kinzer: I don't want people to think that if they had one day that didn't go well, or maybe they'll have more than one day that things happen, it's okay. I mean, none of us know what we're doing right now. We're all just taking it day by day.
Pete Wright: Use that as an advantage. I said that in our conversation with Dr. Doug. I'm going to say it again right now, "We are all in this together. No one knows what they're doing," even Nikki and I who have been working at home virtually for a long, long time. I don't know, when did you start, 2009?
Nikki Kinzer: '11, I think, or something like that.
Pete Wright: I started in 2007 and this is still every day a learning opportunity. And now-
Nikki Kinzer: And it changes.
Pete Wright: ... we are all in it together.
Nikki Kinzer: Absolutely.
Pete Wright: And I am so tempted to start dancing right now, and I could do (singing)-
Nikki Kinzer: You're going to dance. Pete's dancing. I love it.
Pete Wright: I'm just saying, I hate that I know that. We're all in this together, I can't even unsay it. But the point is, the whole planet is on your side trying to figure out-
Nikki Kinzer: It is.
Pete Wright: ...how to do this and it is-
Nikki Kinzer: You're not by yourself.
Pete Wright: You are not by yourself.
Nikki Kinzer: You're not by yourself. The weight is not on your shoulders. You're just trying to figure it out. You're like everybody else trying to do their best and figure it out.
Pete Wright: And it's not day-by-day anymore. It's okay for it to be hour-by-hour.
Nikki Kinzer: Hour-by-hour.
Pete Wright: It really is okay for that.
Nikki Kinzer: It really is.
Pete Wright: Focus on 15 minute increments, like how do you get through the next quarter hour? What are you going to do? What are you going to ship in the next quarter hour? Is it an email? Maybe you just sit down and write an email and call that a giant win.
Nikki Kinzer: Take advantage of the time that you are gaining that you're not commuting. Find some joy in your life, right? We talked about that. Find that inner happiness. You just gained, some of you have gained four hours in your day. Some of you have gained two hours in your day. Again, silver lining, that could be a silver lining for you during this time. It's very easy to get stressed. It's very easy to fear. And I understand that because, gosh, what a change, right? There's so much stuff going on. Working from home though, doesn't have to be that scary. You can totally do it.
Nikki Kinzer: The technology, even if you're not used to it, Zoom and Skype and all of those things, once you figure it out, it's really quite simple. So once you get through that learning curve of talking on video and getting comfortable with that, and understanding how Zoom works and go to Meeting and some of the different platforms that your businesses will use, that anxiety will ease because you'll pick it up very easily and we don't know how long it's going to be.
Pete Wright: Yeah. Yeah, we don't know. I would add one other little thing, is to find a way to laugh a little bit throughout the day, because we all already know it sucks. We all get that everything sucks, so find a way to find something funny. Go read the onion.com, go do whatever it takes. Whatever you find funny, go find it and laugh and smile and do it and go on a walk and find a way to stop thinking about how much it sucks because we could do that until we're dead, so let's laugh about it.
Nikki Kinzer: Over the weekend, we watched some of the documentary on Mr. Rogers and then we watched the movie with Tom Hanks. And we both were like, "Wow, we just want to be like Mr. Rogers." I mean, man, watch that kind of stuff too, it really lightens the load.
Pete Wright: Do you know on thenextreel.com, we did a whole series of disease movies. If you're into that gallows exploit ... I'll tell you, Contagion. The movie Contagion is the top rental right now. There are so many more great disease movies, y'all, don't even. Yeah, see Contagion, but I've got a whole list of great disease movies that will absolutely-
Nikki Kinzer: Or not, if that brings you anxiety.
Pete Wright: I'm just saying-
Nikki Kinzer: Watch Mr. Rogers.
Pete Wright: ... so much better. Or isolation movies, Castaway, Moon, movies where you're alone, like you could really get into. There's always somebody who has it worse.
Nikki Kinzer: That's true.
Pete Wright: You could be on the moon.
Nikki Kinzer: You could be Tom Hanks with a volleyball.
Pete Wright: That's right. Did you see his Instagram by the way? He actually posted a pic, because he has coronavirus [crosstalk 00:20:08].
Nikki Kinzer: And he said thank you for the helpers.
Pete Wright: He made Wilson the volleyball. That was so cute.
Nikki Kinzer: Oh, is that what he did?
Pete Wright: Yeah, yeah. He's adorable. What a spokesperson for coronavirus.
Nikki Kinzer: I know, right? Yeah. And he thanked the helpers too, which I thought ... because that was his reference of Mr. Rogers, like you thank the helpers.
Pete Wright: You always thank the helpers. He's amazing, Tom.
Pete Wright: I don't know. I hope this is useful to somebody because I know that just saying all of these things out loud is useful for me.
Nikki Kinzer: Absolutely.
Pete Wright: Absolutely jump into the community channel over on Discord and the accountability channel there. And someone is always around somewhere. If not actively in a study hall, if you need one, if you need an accountability partner, just ask for one. Somebody can spin something up pretty quick and help get you moving again.
Nikki Kinzer: That's right.
Pete Wright: Is it? Oh, no. Apparently that picture was a hoax. See I already bought it. You know what?
Nikki Kinzer: Seriously.
Pete Wright: This is one I choose to believe. I choose to believe, because he needs a Wilson.
Nikki Kinzer: You can't look at anything on Facebook.
Pete Wright: Pete didn't fact check. I didn't fact check. I didn't fact check. Look, the Photoshop pic of him taken in 2005, I stand corrected. I stand corrected. My heart is heavy-
Nikki Kinzer: I'm sorry, Pete.
Pete Wright: ... but I still want to thank the helpers.
Nikki Kinzer: I hope that was real.
Pete Wright: Who knows. Maybe actually, he said, "I hate the helpers." Maybe that's what he said. Maybe he was tested because he's in Australia. He's tested for the wrong disease.
Nikki Kinzer: Maybe he's not as nice as we think he is.
Pete Wright: Maybe he's just the worst, that Tom Hanks. Oh, we've got to end this thing.
Pete Wright: Thank you everybody for hanging out with us today. We sure appreciate it. On behalf of Nikki Kinzer, I am Pete Wright and we will catch you whenever we catch you next on Taking Control, the ADHD podcast. Thank the helpers.
