Teens and ADHD
No one ever said parenting was easy.
Add on teenagers with ADHD and parenting might feel down right difficult.
I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be a teenager with ADHD today. With the constant pull of social media and technology, new and unfamiliar hormones, and learning how to work with a brain that doesn’t seem to want to work with them can be enough to overwhelm anyone!
As their parents, it’s our job to be the one thing they can count on. In a world that seems to be ever-changing as a teenager, they need to be able to feel safe and understood at home.
While it’s easy to put those words to paper, it can be a lot more work in practice. As a mom of two teenagers, one of whom has ADHD, I can speak from experience.
But, I’m also here to offer support and guidance; to help make parenting a teen with ADHD go a little smoother. While I can’t promise they won’t break curfew, I can offer a few helpful tips to start building a solid relationship with your child.
Get educated
It’s important to try to understand your teen’s feelings and experiences from their point-of-view. If you, as a parent, don’t have ADHD, it can be difficult to know why they won’t “just do their homework”. Take some time to read up on what ADHD means and ask your child how they personally feel affected. If you have ADHD as a parent, ask your teen how they feel affected by their ADHD. No ADHD diagnosis comes with the same symptoms. What’s common to you may not be the same for them.
Point them in the right direction
Teenage years are normally a time to learn independence. For a teen with ADHD, this also means learning self-advocacy. If they find they need extra time on a test, or an extension to a deadline, they need to know how to ask for it. You can help boost your teen’s confidence by practicing these skills at home, one-on-one. Once they’re equipped with the tools they need, they can use them to succeed at school and in the future.
Give notice
Sometimes conversations with our teenagers can go sideways. Even a casual talk about summer plans can cause upset and frustration if not handled properly. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), a common symptom of ADHD, can cause your teen to feel like everyone is against them; whatever they’re doing isn’t good enough. Try to let your teen know ahead of time that you would like to talk. If possible, let them know the topic ahead of time as well. This gives them buffer time to anticipate the transition to the scheduled conversation and they may be less likely to feel ambushed.
While I would love to tell you I have all the answers, parenting is hard for everyone. But, it’s not impossible. If you take the time to bond with your teenager, and try to see things through their eyes, you may find parenting a little easier than you expected.
Looking for more strategies and support for parenting children and teenagers with ADHD?
I recommend checking out Impact Parents. We’ve had them on The ADHD Podcast many times and they have a lot of great information to share!
Thank you for your time and attention,
-Nikki
