Attending To Your Relationship
No One Said Relationships Were Easy!
We had the privilege to interview, Ari Tuckman on the podcast to talk about his book, After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship.
One of the most important key points I learned, is what happens outside of the bedroom, makes a difference in what happens in the bedroom.
One of the ways to strengthen your relationship is to practice Positive Attending.
Mr. Tuckman explains Positive Attending as making a conscious effort to look for and notice the positive things that our partner is doing, rather than just going with the flow of our mood that makes their negative actions stand out more.
What we focus on, grows.
If we pay attention to the good, we will see more good, if we pay attention to the bad, we will keep looking for the bad, which is not a healthy place to be in your relationship.
In Melissa Orlov’s book, The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD, gives you different ideas on how to attend to your partner.
Here a few of my favorite ideas:
Schedule regular blocks of time together
Say “thank you” whenever you can
Say “ I love you” at least once every day
Do something for your partner that’s unexpected
What kinds of things can you do to point out the positive in your relationship?
Thank you for your time and attention.
-Nikki
