Finding Focus Beyond the Goal

How often do you set goals for yourself?

How often do you achieve those goals?

If you're someone who would rather not answer that second question because the answer is less often than you would like, don't worry, you are not alone.

Setting and achieving the goals you set for yourself is hard.

It's even harder if those goals end up being unattainable because we usually set the bar too high—we create these "perfect", lofty goals that could really only be reached if you were an actual superhero with super powers, and there were many, many more hours in every day.

The reality

Recently, on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete Wright and I chatted about the book, Four Thousand Weeks, by Oliver Burkeman. The title refers to the average human lifespan—four thousand weeks.

I don't want this to sound morbid or depressing, but four thousand weeks doesn't seem like a long time, does it? But, that is actually the point. It's not a very long time, so we should be more intentional with how we use the time we have.

How does this relate to goals?

Year after year, we continue to try to set these "goals" for ourselves that may be unrealistic or leave us feeling worse about ourselves if we didn't cross the finish line in a certain amount of time.

Does that sound like how you would want to spend part of your four thousand weeks? Me either.

I think it's time we change how we think about the whole thing.

It's time to focus

I think part of the problem with setting and achieving goals is the word itself: G-O-A-L.

What do you think of when you hear the word goal?

I usually think of sports—like a soccer goal. In that context, getting the goal means you succeeded. 100%. You either scored the goal or you didn't score the goal. I don't know a lot about soccer, but I'm pretty sure there isn't a middle ground or a grey area.

But, that should not be the way we look at a personal or professional goal we set for ourselves. There can be so many different ways to succeed, and plenty of levels of success when you’re working toward a goal—it's not just black and white.

A group of my friends and I decided a while ago that we no longer liked using the word goal, so we changed up the language. Now, when we check in with each other, we will share our focus for the week; something we want to give more thought and energy to, but there isn’t a pass or fail grade to give at the end of the week.

Doesn't that sound so much nicer and easier to achieve? It really takes the pressure off.

In the end, we all only get so many weeks to work with. I have learned that I don't have enough weeks to let myself continue to set goals that may only leave me feeling disappointed.

So, what will you focus on next?

Thank you for your time and attention,

Nikki