Stop, Drop, and Rolling With the Punches: Self-Compassion when the World Knocks You Sideways
You have a plan. You have a vision of yourself and your performance. But what happens when plans change, or the world doesn't share your perspective on your own experience? When RSD sets in, your ability to manifest compassion for yourself is most important.
We kick off with a review of RSD, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Need to dive in a little deeper? Look no further than Dr. William Dodson's article on the topic in ADDitude Magazine. Even better, check out our episode with him on the subject from a few years back.
Once you understand RSD and how RSD can contribute to emotional storms (check out James Ochoa on Emotional Storms here), you get a better picture of the importance of taking your compassion into your own hands. When no one else is looking to care for you, what tools do you have in your bag to care properly for yourself?
This week: tools you can use to cope, regroup, and recover.
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Pete Wright:
Hello everybody and welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast on TruStory FM. I'm Pete Wright and I'm here with Nikki Kinser. Hello, Nikki.
Nikki Kinzer:
Hi. Hello, Pete Wright. How are you?
Pete Wright:
Oh, I'm so good. Back after a little vacation.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right.
Pete Wright:
Yeah, it was really good. Went on a college tour and the number one lesson that you learned as a parent going on a college tour is? You know what it is?
Nikki Kinzer:
I have no idea. I haven't done it yet.
Pete Wright:
Man, I would kill at college right now.
Nikki Kinzer:
Would you?
Pete Wright:
I would slay. I would be so good as a college student.
Nikki Kinzer:
Why do you say that?
Pete Wright:
Because I have systems. I had no systems when I was a student and I'm sitting there watching my son thinking, "He has no systems without support." He's have to learn all the lessons I had to learn.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right.
Pete Wright:
It was amazing. I was so interested in all the subjects and the classes and all the awesome stuff and resources and everything was great. So it was really fun. In fact, it was actually rejuvenating to hear that college enrollment in these particular schools that we saw is up to the point where they're having to institute wait lists, people are going to school. So lots of options. That is exciting, even though school isn't for everybody for sure. I live in a family where that is true. We're split. But it was really gratifying and rejuvenating to see so many resources that are available to support new students. So that was super fun.
Nikki Kinzer:
Absolutely. You got to spend some time with your son.
Pete Wright:
We played video games so hard. We're playing so many VR games. I feel like I came back with traumatic brain injury. We've got the VR and it's incredible. Yeah, we're really rolling with it. Everything I see now, I want to swipe. It's hard.
Nikki Kinzer:
You have to live in the real life now.
Pete Wright:
I have to live in the real, that's for sure.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah. Yeah.
Pete Wright:
So we are talking about rolling with the punches today, how to give yourself compassion when the world knocks you sideways and still part of our ongoing self-compassion series, which this marks the end. We're going to wrap it up next week with a little review. Be on the lookout because we've got some requests coming out for thoughts and comments. We want to do a little bit of a listener feedback conversation next week, right?
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes, absolutely.
Pete Wright:
Yeah.
Nikki Kinzer:
Love to hear what people have taken away from our series.
Pete Wright:
For sure. Judging from the live chat over the past four or five weeks, it has been well received. Frankly, it seems like we're hitting some notes that are shared by others. So please, we'd love to hear your thoughts on how you have been able to find ways to grant yourself self-compassion when the world knocks you sideways based on the conversations we've been having. So that's number one. So that's what we're going to be talking about going forward. Before we dig into that, head over to takecontroladhd.com to get to know us a little bit better. You can listen to the show right there on the website or subscribe to the mailing list, and we will send you an email each time a new episode is released. You can join us on Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest @takecontroladhd. But to really connect with us, head over to the ADHD Discord community, super easy to jump into the general community chat channel.
Just visit takecontroladhd.com/discord and you will be whisked over to the general invitation and login. Of course, if you're looking for a little bit more, and if this show has ever touched you or helped you to understand your relationship with ADHD in a new way, we invite you to support the show directly through Patreon. Patreon is listener supported podcasting with a few dollars a month, you can help guarantee that we continue to grow the show, add new features, and invest more heavily in our community and put food on the table. This is our jobs, and it's really, really helpful when you pony up your five bucks or 10 bucks a month to join the community, join the live streams, chat along with us, and also know that we are able to continue doing this because of that support. It means a huge, huge thing to us that you are able to contribute as you can. You can learn more about that at patreon.com/theadhdpodcast, patreon.com/theadhdpodcast to learn more. We have another announcement.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes, we do. So there is still one week left to sign up for GPS, and if you're not sure what GPS is, if this is the first time you've heard of it, GPS stands for Guided Planning Sessions. This is a monthly membership program that guides you through the process of learning how to plan and schedule your day with confidence. Members meet every Monday and Thursday for a one-hour guided planning session. We are doing something new where we are actually expanding another meeting time. So we've got two different meeting times now.
So now every Monday and Thursday you can choose between the two different sessions. We have a seven o'clock Pacific, 10:00 AM Eastern session, or we have a 9:00 AM Pacific 12:00 PM Eastern session that you can choose from. I will be available for one hour in between those sessions for open Q&A and be able to talk about your own specific systems, questions, discussion, whatever you guys want to do in that hour. So if you're tired of chronic lateness and forgetting appointments, head over to takecontroladhd.com/gps to learn more and sign up. The deadline to enroll is April 28th.
Pete Wright:
April 28th. That's coming right up.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. Yes. So come join us.
Pete Wright:
Goodness. All right. Shall we give ourselves some compassion right now?
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. Let's lean into it.
Pete Wright:
Today we are connecting self-compassion when you are in the middle of an RSD storm.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes.
Pete Wright:
But I think we need to start with a review of what RSD is. What is the emotional storm of ADHD?
Nikki Kinzer:
That's right. That's right. So it stands for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It's often referred to as emotional dysregulation or high steroid dysphoria.
Pete Wright:
Steroid dysphoria.
Nikki Kinzer:
Dysphoria. I haven't heard that. That's in the European Union.
Pete Wright:
Yes, it is.
Nikki Kinzer:
Interesting. Okay. See, you learn something new every day.
Pete Wright:
That's right.
Nikki Kinzer:
Thank you, Melissa, for adding that into the note. So this I know and understand from Dr. William Dotson. So we had Dr. Dotson on our show a while back actually talking about RSD and explaining what it is. This is a quote from an article that he wrote in Attitude Magazine. "Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short, failing to meet their own high standards or others' expectations."
Pete Wright:
Right. Right.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes.
Pete Wright:
I would just add from Dr. Dotson, that it's failing to meet our perception of others' expectations. Right?
Nikki Kinzer:
Right. Yeah. Not just your own, but others.
Pete Wright:
Yeah. I'm often feeling like when I hit a storm, it's often because of the story that I tell myself, not because of the reality of expectations.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right. Right.
Pete Wright:
People are always more understanding, as we've talked about over the last five weeks than I am with myself.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes, you're always going to be harder on yourself for sure.
Pete Wright:
Sure.
Nikki Kinzer:
It's really almost a hundred percent of people with ADHD experience RSD, and he goes on to say that it's neurological and genetic. It's not currently listed in the diagnostic criteria for ADHD. However, I do think that when you talk about emotional dysregulation, it's very similar to that. So they go hand in hand. Dysphoria is Greek for, difficult to bear. So this is a really important, I think, point in understanding RSD is that it's difficult to bear. So it doesn't mean you're too sensitive or you're too emotional because a lot of times that's what we hear, "Oh, you're being too sensitive or you're caring about this too much."
Pete Wright:
Right. "Too," is the dirty word in that sentence. I don't mind being sensitive or being emotional. That is a human experience. When I'm being told I'm, "Too," that's like, "Oh, so now there's normal when it comes to being emotional?" Now I'm being judged against a false standard of sensitivity.
Nikki Kinzer:
Exactly. Exactly. That I'm in the wrong here for caring too much. So maybe you're wrong for not caring enough.
Pete Wright:
Yeah. Right.
Nikki Kinzer:
Where does that come in? Then also from the article, he says, "It's not that people with ADHD are wimps are weak, it's that the emotional response hurts them much more than it does people without the condition. No one likes to be rejected, criticized, or fail. But for people with RSD, these universal life experiences are much more severe than for neurotypical individuals. They are unbearable, restricting, and highly impairing." I have to say, I see this with clients and it goes back to just what you just said. It's this high expectations of themselves. What I see is it's the opposite of self-compassion.
Pete Wright:
Yeah.
Nikki Kinzer:
What is that?
Pete Wright:
Self loathing.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. Thank you. It's so prevalent when they talk about their experiences and how deep they are. It's definitely something that's different. I think it's important to understand that.
Pete Wright:
I want to throw something in here, which is just, again, a comment on my somatic experience, what it feels like for me. If you relate to it, awesome. If not, I hope there's someone out there that you can relate to who relates to this too. I think is a part of ADHD, I find big swings when it comes to RSD. I can distract myself with positive stuff and VR video games and movies and shows and books and all kinds of stuff anytime I need to. But what I find is as a result of that distraction, that sort of emotional distraction, when a storm hits, when I find myself repelled or a change of plans that cause me to question my reality or question my ability to perform in a given way, I can go from high to low so quickly, it manifests as something else.
It's like wondering if I'm bipolar, it hurts so much, so fast. That's the dysregulation part of it, that I can go from feeling pretty good about the world to getting some news and realizing that I'm just, I'm from another planet. I can't be related to, and therefore I shouldn't be loved by anyone, and therefore my kids don't respect me. Therefore, every time I look at my wife, she's wondering, "Why the hell am I married to you?" Those swings are legit and terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. So to think about those triggers that remind you, yes, everybody's thinking about these things that we have definitions, we're putting words around these things, but the somatic experience feels like you are being physically abused. Right? It is gut-wrenching, curl up in fetal position kind of stuff. It can go to that level. I think that's what people misunderstand who don't live with that. Maybe mine is manifested too, by my experience with anxiety. Maybe that's all partial, but that doesn't make it any less real.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right. I think what you're explaining here is highly impairing. That's exactly what you just explained-
Pete Wright:
Yeah. Because you can go from being functional to being not functional.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right, right. Absolutely.
Pete Wright:
So fast.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah. But not a place you want to stay in for sure.
Pete Wright:
No.
Nikki Kinzer:
So it's important to understand it, put words around it, and then we got to also figure out how to not stay in it. Something that Melissa had said when she was doing the research here, and I think this is a really good point, is this definition and explanation feels freeing. It feels like I can stop being so hard on myself for the way I feel and how I react when I hear something said to me that triggers those negative feelings. It's just how my brain is wired, that it's not my fault and I shouldn't blame myself or my reactions. Just like, you can't blame a person with Parkinson's for their tremors.
They don't have control over their body and that moment either. It's all about how you work through it after it triggers. I think that's a really, really good point. I think that this is where understanding what's happening gives you that knowledge, gives you that freedom that, "Okay, I get this. This is separate. This is ADHD thing. It's not something that I'm purposely trying to do to myself or to hurt myself." So I appreciate her putting that in there because I think it's really important.
Pete Wright:
Yeah. I think it's important too, that we just at least acknowledge that the way Melissa writes, this really hits home to me, but also because when I need to not blame myself for my reactions the most is when I'm unable to imagine not blaming myself for those reactions the most. Right? That's the impairment is that it's when I'm in that trough of emotional despair that I need these triggers, I need the tools to be able to cope and shock myself out of that so that I can move forward again.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right. Well, and having these conversations brings it to light. So if you have this kind of conversation with people that are around you, so they're two people probably, or a group of people that something's happening that's having you respond this way. So if it's a partner or a spouse or whatever, having these kinds of conversations around this part of ADHD, it just gives that extra understanding of that's what this is, this is what this is. I think with that knowledge, again, it just gives you more of an idea of what's happening rather than having this happen and not have any understanding of why. Then really thinking that something's wrong and you're crazy and all of those things. "Am I bipolar?" All of those things can start to go down that rabbit hole.
Pete Wright:
Right.
Nikki Kinzer:
So yes, the connection to self-compassion. So how do we connect RSD with self-compassion? That's a good question. How do we do that, Pete?
Pete Wright:
Yeah, no, to me it's pretty natural because generally when I'm in that space, it comes because I'm enable, I'm incapable unable, incapable of looking at myself as a whole person. That is self-compassion, right? It's giving myself the grace to feel everything I'm feeling when I'm feeling it, and to be aware that it is a feeling that I'm feeling to be aware that it's an experience that shall pass. But when I'm in it, it's hard to experience anything other than this is my whole world. This tiny piece of my lived experience is now my whole world, and I'm not going to be able to get out of it because there is no out of it. I'm in it, and that's all I get. That's all that it is. So for me, it's this idea of being able to stop and say, "Hold on, this is just a piece. I am able to identify what this piece is and know that on the other side of it, there is love and compassion and grace and patience and understanding."
Right now, maybe I have to just go through a little bit more the grief and the pain part in order to see that, and that's the hardest part, right? Getting out of RSD, it has to be a jarred mechanism for me, and we did a whole presentation on this on surprising yourself with joy. These are some of the very similar tools to be able to stop and remind yourself. One of the things that we did at ... This is another Melissa suggestion on our team, stuff that people can't see in our Discord server. We have this high praise channel, and it is for when you, members of the community say something nice about something we did. When we are not feeling good, we post it there and we can share those comments because that stuff matters. That stuff matters.
I didn't know how much it mattered until I started reading it and realizing that there is in fact another side to this wall of emotion that I'm experiencing right now. That is somebody got something out of something we did. Right? That is huge. That is huge. Just like I get something out of, every time I go into Discord and I read a post of somebody who's solved another problem, and I get to learn something from how they've done this, whether it's, "I found a great office chair or two, I've solved a level on video game to, I found some new music that I just love to work to. I now understand myself a little bit better and how to get through an emotional storm." I'm constantly learning from that. I feel like that's really important to reflect on that I can stop ... It's like the old stop, drop, and roll when you're on fire. Do you remember that?
Nikki Kinzer:
Right. Yes, of course. Yes.
Pete Wright:
This is the stop, drop, and roll for R D and an emotional storm is like, "What do I need to do?" Maybe you should just stop, drop, and roll. That might be just enough of a jarring physical somatic experience that you might shake yourself out of feeling bad. I don't know.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think that the connection that I want to highlight is the negative self-talk, it's the conversation that you're having inside of your head. So we know that this self-talk can be a symptom after an RSD episode. So something happens and you have negative self-talk. I think one of the things that is a really easy example to share is if you have a conversation with your boss and you walk out of that conversation feeling like you're going to get fired, and so now we're in this RSD episode and you're talking to yourself, so you're talking about how awful this is.
So this is just making the RSD worse because RSD can be caused by your negative self-talk, promoted by a real or perceived failure. That's the thing is that, is real or is it perceived? What is truth? What is not? It's really hard to dissect all of that when you're feeling that bad. So we have to, I think, when you say stop and drop and roll, we have to really stop that inner dialogue that is hurting us because it's just making it worse. So that's just the only thing I would add to that. Actually, I have more to add. Who am I kidding?
Pete Wright:
Have we met you?
Nikki Kinzer:
The other thing I have to add is identifying what happens to you when you start to feel that RSD coming on. So it's talked about this before. We haven't really had an expert come on. This would be a great expert to have, but somebody to talk about what happens to your body when you get angry? What happens to your body when you get anxious? Where do you feel it? Does your face start getting red? Does your throat start tightening? Does your stomach start tightening? Because your body is sending you messages before you even really understand what's happening. So if we can start really leaning into that too and can see that, "Okay, I'm starting to get really upset here," then it's that, stop, noticing that this is what's happening. Then the dropping and rolling is rolling away from the situation.
"I need to walk away right now. I'm too upset to talk about this. I need to breathe." This comes back to James Ochoa's breathing techniques is stopping that negative pattern. "I need to take time for myself and be able to walk away." This is not easy. It's not going to be done the first time you try, believe me. I understand that. But it's tools. It's tools that you can have in your toolbox to remember, "Okay, what am I feeling? What do I need to do in this situation?" Before you say something or do something that you-
Pete Wright:
Yes. It is. We'll say it again. It's a practice, right? That I think is the important thing. We talked about the high praise channel. I feel like that is important to make a habit, to look at all the time every day. If you're going to do something like we talked about the joy jar a long time. If you're going to create something like that, make it a practice to look at it when you are both happy and when you're sad, because if you only look at it when you're sad, you'll forget to look at it when you're sad, right? It has to be a part of your ingrained behavior in order to be of use, you have to contribute to it and get from it when it is useful. So that's important. I want to throw out an addition.
This is from Eva Karen in our chat room. If you are a member of the ADHD community at the deluxe level, better you can join in and chat along with the show live. This is, I think, a really, really great contribution. She says, "I have a colleague who uses stop, drop, and roll in this way. Stop. Literally shut your mouth. Drop. Drop into your breathing. And roll. Roll into the truth of a relationship." That is credited to Julie Alvarado. I really like that. As much as I also really like the idea of just stopping and rolling around on the floor.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right. To get the fire out.
Pete Wright:
Yeah. Just get the fire out. To me, there's a metaphor that works there. I really appreciate this contribution, and I think that's important to recognize that that's a really interesting metaphor that could serve as a breaking a pattern interrupt as I love to say.
Nikki Kinzer:
Well, and something else I would add to that, "A pattern interrupt." A lot of ADHD'rs are verbal processors, and you need to talk to somebody, not to the person that maybe is making you feel the RSD, but someone else that's not in the situation or the conversation. But the beauty of that, the benefit of that is you're able to talk to someone you trust and really get your thoughts out into the universe. They're not just stuck in your head. You can actually talk about how you're feeling, and it can be irrational. It can be whatever it is. You just need to get it out to somebody and talk that through.
There's a lot of power in that because it's that venting thing, right? It's like, "I just need to vent for a second. I just need to get this out." There's real magic to that. I think it's also important to make sure that the person that you're talking to understands what you need from them. That may be looking for solutions, or it could be, "Let me just vent. I don't want you to try to fix this. I don't want you to tell me everything's going to be okay. I just want to tell you how I feel." A lot of power in that.
Pete Wright:
Yeah, for sure.
Nikki Kinzer:
For sure. Yeah.
Pete Wright:
So we've already broken the seal on building tools on ways to cope and regroup when you're in an experience of forgetting to give yourself compassion in the middle of a storm. What else is high on your list?
Nikki Kinzer:
Something came up in one of my coaching groups recently, and she was asking, and she used the word pivot, which just makes me laugh because I always think of Ross in Friends. "Pivot, pivot, pivot." But she was asking about what if you have something that you're really looking forward to and it doesn't happen, how do you pivot from that experience or that disappointment? It was a really good question because it's not necessarily related to RSD necessarily, but it's that disappointment. It's not around rejection. It's just a disappointment that something didn't happen. It was interesting because as we talked through it, a lot of times this happens in coaching sessions where they'll talk, and this is why processing is so important, and they come up with their own solutions as they're talking. So as she was talking, she was like, "Okay, well," and it was a birthday party or some party or event that she was going to take her kids to.
She started thinking, "Well, okay, well, we can't do this, but we can do this instead." She started walking her herself through that disappointment, what the alternative is. It was just a really interesting process to see someone to witness being able to go from this disappointment to, "All right, it's going to be okay. I can sit in this disappointment and I can be disappointed, but I also can look at other ways to make this okay." Pivoting what you do that day or how you look at it. So I think, again, the verbal processing is so important. I also think there's really an important piece of leaning into whatever it is you're feeling. Your emotions are valid, and being able to lean into that. As we've learned in some of our other episodes around self-compassion, when we avoid them, it takes longer to get through them and to the other side. So sometimes, like you were saying or alluding to, we just need to drop and stay on the floor a little bit and be okay with that.
Pete Wright:
Well, and I really appreciate that, struggling with pivoting, because that's what started my thinking about all this is when is the explicit situation, the scenario in which I have an expectation of what is going to happen and something changes. The new thing brings me uncertainty about my role in it. I go through the fear, uncertainty, and doubt. I'm scared of this new reality. I don't know what the new plan is, and I don't know what I'm going to be expected to do. Whatever I'm expected to do, I'm not sure I can do it up to the standard that others expect of me or the picture that I'm painting of others' expectations of me. So plans change, and now let's say it's a professional context. Now I have to do a thing and essentially improvise. There is the potential of a storm of terror that comes from that that can be debilitating. So that's the piece that I think is the real flag of fear for me.
Nikki Kinzer:
So what would be a different question or a different conversation you could have in your mind?
Pete Wright:
Right, exactly. That's why I have this process that I think it's important to either, for me, I need to write or talk it out and to think about, "Okay, here's the new plan. Is there anything, is there anything about this new plan that I can latch onto? Is there one thing, one tiny element of this new plan that I can achieve?" Because once I find one thing, usually I can find a couple of more and it goes out from there. But that one thing is a match in a cave. It's like a light that I can see. As soon as I can see something, I can start to see everything.
Nikki Kinzer:
Absolutely.
Pete Wright:
But without that focus, without really figuring out what is the tiny atomic element that is something I can relate to. I don't know how to do it. I'm just in the dark. So that is-
Nikki Kinzer:
So you keep looking for the light. You keep looking for the light.
Pete Wright:
You keep looking for the light. Look for the match.
Nikki Kinzer:
That's the thing is that you don't want to stay in the dark. You got to keep looking for it. So when we think about what is the worst thing that can happen, we also have to think about what is the best thing that could happen? Maybe this is okay-
Pete Wright:
How can I contribute?
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. Because now, because life doesn't go as planned. That's the thing is that we always are going to have to adjust and things are going to happen that we don't expect, or things are going to take longer than what we think and all of these things. So it's looking for that light. Also, when you're not in the middle of the RSD storm, I know it's really difficult to do it when you're in it, but we've said this before, "It does pass. It does pass." So once you're over that immediate reaction, opening up that possibility of what could this do that it is a positive in my life. What do I learn from this? What other doors does it now open?
Pete Wright:
Yeah. I bring up the professional context, but it could be as much as like, "Oh, I am with a bunch of people and we are all going to a restaurant, and I decided what the restaurant is, and I'm really excited about the restaurant." Somebody says, "Oh, I can't eat such and such at that restaurant." Then the plan changes and somebody else picks a restaurant. I have to live with the disappointment and the excitement of what I thought I was going to share with this group of people. What is the one thing that I can latch onto that is positive about going to this new restaurant? Because if not, I will sit in silence at the back of the table in the corner and I will stew over the fact that I didn't get to share my restaurant with these people, whoever that is, and I won't be able to find the light. I have to work on finding the light in order to be able to change contexts. We've talked about context a lot.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. Because you know what, with your example?
Pete Wright:
Yeah.
Nikki Kinzer:
That has nothing to do with you.
Pete Wright:
No, nothing.
Nikki Kinzer:
It has absolutely nothing to do with you or your choice or your recommendation.
Pete Wright:
But I sure as hell can make it about me.
Nikki Kinzer:
I know, but that's where you have to stop and pause and say, "Wait a minute, this isn't about me. This has nothing to do with me." Do you know what you could do?
Pete Wright:
You know what else? Have great lemonade.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah.
Pete Wright:
Maybe that's the match.
Nikki Kinzer:
It just doesn't matter because you still get to go out with your friends and you're going to have a lovely evening whether they go to your restaurant or not. So it's really talking yourself out of the doom like, "Wait a minute, this really is not a reflection of me at all."
Pete Wright:
Yeah. I'm using this as a hyperbolic statement, but I dare you to think about this and not imagine yourself being in this position ever. Maybe it's not about a restaurant, maybe it's about something else, but it can be as innocuous as a restaurant change that can spark a spiral. So I think find the match, find that match.
Nikki Kinzer:
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Pete Wright:
Yeah.
Nikki Kinzer:
Great. Good stuff.
Pete Wright:
Is that it? Are we good? We solve it?
Nikki Kinzer:
Love it. So next week we'll be doing some of our own takeaways, because this was a longer series than what we've done. So important though, I just feel there were so many great takeaways, and I would love to hear what listeners have to say too.
Pete Wright:
Yeah. I feel like this is the challenge of this particular series because it is deeply, personally important to me, and I feel like I'm not done. I know we're going to come back to relating to this. Now that we've peeled the onion just a little bit.
Nikki Kinzer:
Okay, so I'm going to plug GPS again, because you just reminded me of something. We're not done. That's exactly what happens in GPS when people will talk to me about it. This is the planning membership that we've talked about. It's not like all of a sudden you're this magical planner, time management expert. It's always a work in progress, and that's why it's a membership, but not just a start and end date. But what you just said, is so much about ADHD in general, is that you take what you learn about yourself, you get a better understanding of how you work. You get those systems like you were talking about with you and your son, you get these things to help you. But at the end of the day, it's still a work in progress. There is not necessarily this insight or an insight that sounds like insight, but I meant end, like final in ending.
Pete Wright:
Yeah. This end point.
Nikki Kinzer:
End point, yes. But I think that's a good thing to remember is that we're all working on this and there is no perfection. There is nothing about this perfect or easy. Not easy.
Pete Wright:
For sure.
Nikki Kinzer:
But you're not alone either. That's the thing too. It's really important to understand that there's a whole community of folks that really get you and understand you and live through this every day.
Pete Wright:
Yeah. So much of that community is right here. Totally ADHD community I love it so much. Thank you everybody for downloading and listening to this show. We sure appreciate your time and your attention. Don't forget, if you have something to contribute to the conversation, please, please do head over to the show talk channel in our Discord server, and you can join us right there by becoming a supporting member at the deluxe level, or better at patreon.com/theadhdpodcast. On behalf of Nikki Kinser, I'm Pete Wright. We'll see you right back here next week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast.
