It’s Declutter Season!
Clutter. It's the silent scream of the modern age. A creeping accumulation of stuff that somehow, insidiously, steals not just our physical space, but our mental bandwidth, too. We’re drowning in it, folks. Drowning in a sea of forgotten birthday presents, impulse buys gathering dust, and that project – that project – we swore we’d finish… someday. Sound familiar? It should. Because this isn’t just about messy desks and overflowing closets. This is about cognitive overload, the subtle but persistent drain on our executive functions that leaves us feeling scattered, overwhelmed, and perpetually behind.
On this episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Nikki and Pete dive headfirst into decluttering, exploring the peculiar relationship between our stuff and our sanity. They unpack the surprising statistics – the sheer volume of possessions we rarely use, the days of our lives lost searching for misplaced keys – and dissect the emotional baggage that comes with letting go. It’s a struggle many of us know all too well: the guilt, the shame, the nagging feeling that we should be more organized.
Think of this episode as a cognitive cleanse, a much-needed decluttering of your mental attic. It's a conversation that will resonate with anyone who has ever felt the weight of their possessions, the insidious creep of clutter, and the liberating potential of a clean slate. Join Nikki and Pete as they navigate the messy, often emotional, but ultimately rewarding journey of taking control of your space, your time, and your mind.
When you’re ready, join us for the 2025 Declutter Challenge!
Links & Notes
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Pete Wright:
Hello, everybody, and welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast on TruStory FM. I'm Pete Wright, and right there, it's Nikki Kinzer.
Nikki Kinzer:
Hello, everyone. Hello, Pete Wright. Did you almost say, "Hey, it's Taking Control, the organizing podcast"?
Pete Wright:
I did, almost.
Nikki Kinzer:
Did you almost want to say that?
Pete Wright:
I did, almost. It was a throwback. This is a throwback.
Nikki Kinzer:
It's a throwback.
Pete Wright:
It's our annual throwback episode. I'm very, very excited to be talking about organizing today, specifically decluttering. It's time to gird your loins for the Declutter Challenge.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes, yes.
Pete Wright:
And so, that's what we're talking about today. We're talking about mindset, we're talking about practical stuff, we're talking about just what stuff does to your head and your space. Before we dig into that, head over to TakeControlADHD.com to get to know us a little bit better. Listen to the show right there on the website or subscribe to the mailing list, and we will send you an email each week when a new episode is released. Connect with us on Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest or Bluesky. I know I said last week that I would have set that up by now. I haven't yet, because I got sick, but it's coming. It's coming.
Nikki Kinzer:
I saw a commercial, and I even said to my husband, I'm like, "Pete is going to be on that."
Pete Wright:
Yeah. I still love it.
Nikki Kinzer:
Then, he's like, "What is it?"
And I'm like, "It's another social media thing that we have to check out."
Pete Wright:
Yeah.
Nikki Kinzer:
I know. We got to check it out.
Pete Wright:
I'm @PeteWright on Bluesky, and-
Nikki Kinzer:
Bluesky.
Pete Wright:
... Find me over there, and yeah, connecting with the cool, ADHD folks, connecting with ADHD Jesse and Jess, and there are just a lot of people who are already over there.
Nikki Kinzer:
That are named Jesse and Jess?
Pete Wright:
There are a lot of Jesse and Jess.
Nikki Kinzer:
That have ADHD?
Pete Wright:
Yeah, Danny, Donovan, and they're just our people. Our people are hanging out there, and it's really fun. Brooke Schnittman is over there.
Nikki Kinzer:
Cool.
Pete Wright:
So, they're good people, and I like being part of the discussion over there.
Nikki Kinzer:
We need to be there too over there.
Pete Wright:
We got to be there. Wait, wait, wait. Don't leave without me. Bluesky bus.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right?
Pete Wright:
They've gone from, in the last four weeks, they've gone from 15 million to 25 million users. It's not thread size yet, but man, it's growing fast, so I think a lot of people are heading over there. Anyway, also, Discord. Discord is where most of our community is. TakingcontrolADHD.comDiscord if you're a supporter of the show or you want to just talk to other supporters of the show about their lives with ADHD, head over there. It's free to join. If you want to invest a little bit more, you can do so, and this season is really great. So, Patreon. Patreon.com/theADHDpodcast, that's where we live. That's listener supported podcasting. You go there, a few bucks a month.
That actually supports us and the team that brings you this show every week and the ADHD community. Direct support, it's really important. This year you can gift subscriptions, finally. At Long last, our national nightmare is over. You can actually gift a subscription to the ADHD Patreon, to somebody else that you love and care about. We would love it if you would consider that. It's a super neat gift this fine holiday season, and there are people out there in your life you haven't bought a gift for yet. As you listen to this, it's not too late, because digital gifts you can give anytime, so consider it. It's available. We're thrilled that it's there. Finally, Patreon. Thanks for listening, and thank you everybody for supporting Patreon.com/theADHDpodcast. Are you ready?
Nikki Kinzer:
I'm ready. We're going to start out with some fun facts.
Pete Wright:
Fun facts about decluttering with Nikki Kinzer.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes, yes. So these are not facts that I just made up.
Pete Wright:
Okay. No. I'll have those facts in a minute.
Nikki Kinzer:
These are facts that came from organizedinteriors.com, and we will put that into the show notes, and they have all of the resources or the references, right? Yeah. What am I trying to say? Where they got this information.
Pete Wright:
Yeah, right.
Nikki Kinzer:
So, you can check it out, but all right. So it is estimated that only 20% of the things we own are actually used.
Pete Wright:
Oh, I buy that. Absolutely.
Nikki Kinzer:
I agree with that, absolutely. It's estimated that we'll each spend 3,680 hours in our lifetime searching for misplaced items.
Pete Wright:
Wait a minute. 3,680 hours divided by 24 is 153 days, but that's not fair, because I mean, how many days are we awake? How many hours are we awake? Let's say 14, so that's 262 waking days. It's almost a year.
Nikki Kinzer:
I believe that, because I think I'm looking for something every day, trying to find something.
Pete Wright:
Yeah.
Nikki Kinzer:
I mean, it may not be a whole hour, but it's like little snippets, right? It's like 5 minutes, 15 minutes. Can't find it. I have to go buy a new thing.
Pete Wright:
No, I don't care for that number at all.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah, I know. It's a tough one. I think it's higher probably for ADHD.
Pete Wright:
I think it's higher, yeah.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah. In the average home, getting rid of clutter would eliminate approximately 40% of housework. What do you think about that?
Pete Wright:
Wow. Yeah. Well, I mean, sure. Less to dust, less to put away, less to think about, less to organize. Sure, I believe that.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah, yeah. This is interesting for all of our parents out there who feel that, when their children arrived, that all of a sudden their homes got really cluttery. It's true. It's true. A new child in a household increases the inventory of possessions by 30% during the preschool years alone for a family. I 100% believe that, if not higher, right?
Pete Wright:
I think it's low. Yeah. I was going to say, I think it's low, especially this time of year. As we record this-
Nikki Kinzer:
With Christmas.
Pete Wright:
... It's December. I think we also overestimate the importance of the multitude of gifts for younger children. I think younger children get so much that just multiplies in the form of stuff.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes, yes. Then, you think about when they're babies too. I mean, remember all of the stuff, right? The baby carriers, the strollers, the toys, the bottles, the diapers. I mean, there's so much stuff, and so all of that is going with you and not being put back, obviously, because you're using it all the time, so it's definitely going to make a difference.
Pete Wright:
Well, and you can see it in just walking the neighborhood. I don't know. Where you are may vary, of course. Check your local jurisdiction, but when I go on my dog walks, and I see the number, I'm a kid who grew up where my family parked the cars in the garage. I was a garage car guy. I moved here, and that's a completely different culture. The garage is used for stuff in many homes in our neighborhood, and I find that fascinating. Garage is open, and it's just storage. Look at the investment that you make in your home for storage. Compared to the investment, your car is already practically valueless when you drive it off the lot.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right.
Pete Wright:
But then you just park it in the elements all the time. It freezes. It's hail. It just seems crazy to me that that's the choice we make for stuff that we don't use. Oh my goodness.
Nikki Kinzer:
Oh my God. Have you been in my garage lately, Pete?
Pete Wright:
I'm sorry to bring that up. I knew I might have been speaking truth to power.
Nikki Kinzer:
This is hurting me. Yes. This is so hurtful, because we have a three-car garage, and all three cars are outside. It's ridiculous, and this actually takes me to the next point. The garage, kitchen, and home office were named as the most cluttered spaces in homes, and I would say that that is true, especially in our house, because the garage is a dumping ground. There's no doubt. Just everything you just said is me. We have put everything that we don't want in the house in the garage, and it's very horrible. It's just horrible.
What's so discouraging, so I do this decluttering challenge, which we'll talk about at the end, but I do this challenge two times a year. I do it in January, and I do it in June. It was a year ago that I really got the garage in good shape, nice shape. I mean, not everything was done, but it was good enough. I really felt like it was good enough, and it's just amazing to me how, over a year, when you're not paying attention to it or you're not maintaining, it just goes back to where it was. I get it. I get the frustration. The garage is so out of sight, out of mind, that it's just easy to throw stuff in there.
Pete Wright:
Well, especially as soon as you stop parking your cars in the garage.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right. Then, It doesn't-
Pete Wright:
And you don't ever walk through it.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah, yeah. Exactly. The kitchen I think is easy, because it's a dumping ground for everything too. Usually that's a place where you stop. You come into your home, and the things get dumped on the counters or whatever. Mail, paper, all of that stuff can happen. Dishes can pile up, so it makes the area look very cluttered. I can totally relate to that. The home office, I think it varies, again, for people if they're working from home or if they don't work from home. Right now, my home office is filled with puzzles. I have puzzles.
Pete Wright:
Oh. Well, 'tis is the season for you.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah. I have lots of puzzles in my home office, but yeah, so I get it. I think that that is pretty on cue, that those three areas probably do get pretty cluttered.
Pete Wright:
For me, it's the closet, the office closet. Everything else, I feel like we at least understand what's in there, but every time I get my office closet in order, it takes about a year and things fall apart.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah, yeah.
Pete Wright:
It's because there's a door that can close.
Nikki Kinzer:
Exactly.
Pete Wright:
So this is what I'll be using my January for, is to actually target my office closet.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah.
Pete Wright:
Okay.
Nikki Kinzer:
Last one.
Pete Wright:
Let's talk about, oh. Yeah. There's more.
Nikki Kinzer:
Oh, yeah. We have one more. It's estimated the 80% of your clothes are only worn 20% of the time, and I remember this statistic when I was doing a lot of organizing, and I think that's true too. That's why I think it's important that, when we're putting stuff back, that we think about what is that 20% so that it's easy to get and put back. Yeah, so that's the last one. Fun facts of decluttering. So, I have some benefits to decluttering, because now we have to talk about why it's important, and this...
Pete Wright:
Oh, yeah. We got thoughts.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes, we have thoughts. And this comes from Gretchen Rubin, who is the author of The Happiness Project, and she also wrote the book, Outer Order, Inner Calm.
Pete Wright:
Love Gretchen Rubin.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes, yes. Absolutely, and there was a couple of benefits in there that I really resonated with. One is that it saves time, money, space, energy, and patience. That's a lot of benefit right there. Time, money, space, energy, and patience, so we're not wasting time looking for things. That's probably my biggest pet peeve. It's not hard to put things away. You don't have to buy duplicates when things are a little bit more orderly. It is easier to clean, and you feel less rushed because you're not looking for things at the last minute, because that's typically, "Can't find my keys, can't find this, can't find that," whatever. The second one I thought was really interesting, is that she says it reduces your guilt.
You relieve yourself of that guilt of having possessions that you've never used or projects that you've never finished, and I think that's a big one for ADHD, because a lot of that emotion is tied into, "I never finished this. I need to keep it just to prove to myself that I can finish it," or whatever that might be," and that's taxing after a while, for sure. I really resonated with those. I also think that, just on a personal level, I feel more calm if the clutter is put away. I definitely can rest more. I feel like I can rest, and not have that little voice in my head saying, "Oh. I should pick up these puzzles," or "I should clean up this garage." It's like it just takes away some of those shoulds, and then you can really feel like you can relax. What about you?
Pete Wright:
A lot of the same. As I started thinking about this, I was thinking about the way, though, that clutter impacts my mental state and my productivity. I know that when I come off of a declutter bender, I suffer less decision fatigue. I'm able to make decisions more quickly, even not about my stuff, but about things I'm doing, right? I just have fewer distractions to pull my attention away from the work I have to do, right?
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah.
Pete Wright:
Also, I find as a result, I guess, of that, I'm more productive when I'm working in a more minimal space, when I have a clear desk, and I can't get to a clear desk on a daily basis, I have to do it on a purge level, right? I have to spend focused time clearing and decluttering all the surfaces, but then I find I have a real nice stretch where I am at my most focused. I think that leads to clarity, right? I'm of clearer mind. I find my mind is less cluttered. When my space is less cluttered, I suffer less FOMO, and I start to be re-attuned to quality choices rather than quantity, right? I buy less stuff, and the stuff I invest in is higher quality stuff, so that it lasts longer and I don't have to declutter it as soon.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right, right.
Pete Wright:
And as a result of all of that, I feel like I end up just nudging myself toward more margin. So, I think all of these things are interrelated, and to me, the most interesting thing about decluttering is the relationship that clutter has to time. The fact is, for me, when I declutter, I have more time to do the things I want to do.
Nikki Kinzer:
It's true, right.
Pete Wright:
That's kind of a magical relationship, and I think it's counter intuitive.
Nikki Kinzer:
I was talking to a client recently, and we were talking about ADHD and memory, and that challenge around forgetting about where you put something down or you can't find something, and one of the things that was getting in the way was the clutter. Just, there was so much clutter in the house, that things get lost and buried, and so the discussion went away from, "What are the strategies around memory?" to, "Hey, how about if we start decluttering a spot where you want to put something so that you don't forget it? So, if you want to make sure that you've got your keys in the same spot every time, let's declutter that table that the keys are going to be in, so instead of thinking about your whole house, let's just start with this one little area, because the clutter is part of the friction of the forgetfulness."
Pete Wright:
Yes.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right? So, you're talking about how ADHD and time, or decluttering and time, when you declutter, you have more time. When you declutter, you actually can remember where you put stuff, because you actually see it. It's in front of you, so there is a lot of connection there about how that can help with your ADHD symptoms, for sure.
Pete Wright:
Okay, so let's talk about the ADHD or decluttering in our executive functions.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes, so they require a lot of them. As we know, executive functions are all of those things that help us organize, get started, and follow through, and it's difficult to plan a decluttering strategy when your executive functions aren't working at top speed, and so that's where the overwhelm comes in, is you're going into the garage, and I'm overwhelmed. And so, I have to really sit and think, "Okay. What is my plan here?" But when you have ADHD, it's very difficult to plan, and so it's easier to walk away, right? And then, it just gets worse. We have to break down the process, so when I'm in my garage, I have to use the executive function of, "How do I break this down so that it's not so overwhelming?"
So, then it becomes, "I'm just going to do this one little piece, or I'm going to start in this one corner," but this all takes executive functions to figure out what those pieces are and what your steps are. Following through consistently, all of this just becomes very overwhelming, but then there's this huge emotional component that ADHDers feel around the shame, the guilt, and their frustration that they've let their home get to this point or whatever it might be, the embarrassment of having somebody come in and see this. There's this huge emotional component that we have to be aware of, and like you said, I think that this is a pro to decluttering. As you were talking about, it helps you with your decisions, decision paralysis, because there are so many decisions to be made in the organizing process, and so that stops people from wanting to do it, where to start, how to start, what to keep, what to let go of, where to put things. So many decisions have to be made.
Pete Wright:
Yeah. Well, and there's another piece to this, and I think it's one of the things that I notice in myself, when you talk about executive function. The function that is working at its very best when I'm faced with an organizing or declutter challenge is the function to ostrich, to put my head in the sand and ignore it, right? And that means that what I need to call on is a skill that is hard for me to muster, which is readiness for change, right? How do I manifest the energy to change when I am scared of it, don't want to do it, mad about it, engulfed in shame because of it? How do I get to the point I can artificially inspire myself to change, to declutter something that faces me? I know we've talked about readiness for change with Dr. Dodge in the past, and he talked about the stages of change model.
Some people are motivated to change by pain. Something gets so hard or hurtful that you have to make a change in your life. Some people are able to manifest it by just becoming aware and recognizing that the problem exists, but finding the key point is the desire for change. Moving from pre-contemplation to contemplation, where you seriously consider making the change. Just knowing that change is needed is not enough. You have to get to the point of imagining yourself in a state of change. I think that's one of the things that I like so much about the arbitrariness of changing together. That's why I've always celebrated the declutter project, is because we're doing it together. Having someone else do it is sometimes enough for me to imagine myself being able to do it. So, all of that leads to commitment, that I think is sometimes hard to stick with when your executive functions are challenged.
Nikki Kinzer:
Absolutely, absolutely. Well, and that's why I think these declutter challenges that we do twice a year are so helpful, because they do allow us to have that community around it and keep inspiring you so that, instead of having it just be one weekend, you actually have a few that you can get together and make some progress.
Pete Wright:
Yeah, like you have runway.
Nikki Kinzer:
You have runway, and then by the end of the challenge, whether you make the goal or not, it doesn't matter, because you've made so much progress in some way, of just doing something and paying attention to something for four weeks. It makes a huge difference, so I think that that is so important. The last piece that I want to talk about here is just how do we get started? Because that's the key. First, what we've already mentioned is community, I think, makes a big difference. If you can do it with other people, it really makes a big difference, but we also have to start small. We have to choose one space to focus on, and then we need to set our expectations to be realistic and not just think, "Okay. I'm going to do the whole garage this weekend." Not realistic, totally setting myself up for failure here.
So, when we're breaking that down, it's, "Okay. What can I do that is actionable, that I can maybe hopefully see some success? I want to be able to see success, because that's important, so I'm going to take all the trash out of the garage," or "I'm going to take all the recycling out." Anything that's bagged up to go out for donation, I'm going to put in the car, whatever that might be, or it could just be one shelf or a drawer in a kitchen, a bedroom, or something like that, because we want to be able, again, I can't stress it enough, we want to be able to see some progress being made, because that's the momentum that we get from wanting to keep doing more. In the organizing world, there's this word called turning, and it's kind of like turning butter, right? You're circling that butter. This is when you're moving things around, but you're not making any decisions.
Pete Wright:
Right.
Nikki Kinzer:
And so, this is something we want to be careful of. It feels productive. It feels like we're doing something, and you kind of are, because maybe you're taking something out of the office that needs to be put somewhere else, but we also, when we're decluttering, we want to be making decisions, so just be careful that you're not doing too much of that churning, and that you're also letting stuff go. Another big thing, I think, is to work in small increments of time. Pomodoros are so great for this, because it gamifies the process of, how many things can you let go of in 25 minutes?
Pete Wright:
Yes.
Nikki Kinzer:
So, set a timer for 25 minutes, get a trash bag, a box, or whatever, and just go into a room, and how many things can you get done in 25 minutes? You'd be surprised how many things you can let go. Now, with that being said, I'm sure that there's people listening saying, "But it's so hard to let go." It's like, how do I make the decision of what to keep and what to say goodbye to? This is where I always say, make those easy decisions first. And so, this is, again, you're wanting to gamify it.
You want to make it fun. So, if you're getting stuck on something, keep it and just keep moving on, because there are going to be easy decisions to be made, and we want to get those touched first and out of the house. Then, we already talked about this, but again, that community. Enlist help. Ask a friend or a family member, who maybe wants to do the same thing with their home, and you guys can work together. Switch places, and it's amazing how you can help somebody else make decisions and how they can help you make decisions.
It also keeps you on track and makes it, again, more fun, I think. The last thing I'm going to say is take the donations to your car or get them out of the house as soon as possible. I am so, so guilty of this, is that you get all this stuff ready to go, and then it just sits in the garage for another six months until I do another organizing challenge. I mean, it is what it is, but this is a tip. If you can get it out as soon as possible, it really does make a difference.
Pete Wright:
I like to imagine the cool guys don't look at explosions meme, so you take a thing and you donate it or throw it away or recycle it or whatever, and then just walk away from it, and imagine it burning behind you. You can't go back, and I'm not suggesting that you should just light your house on fire and walk away.
Nikki Kinzer:
No.
Pete Wright:
Though that, I guess, is a strategy to declutter if you've gone completely overboard, but I like the idea of creating a real emotional kind of wall between you and past you that was living with a thing that participated in cluttering your world.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah, yeah. So true.
Pete Wright:
Good stuff. Okay, so we are doing the challenge again.
Nikki Kinzer:
We are doing the challenge again. It's going to be this January. You are invited to declutter with me and other fellow organizers, as we tackle our spaces one item at a time. It is a lot of fun. I love doing it. It begins on January 1st through the 31st, and we play the game that Pete had introduced us to this game many, many years ago, where we are letting go of the number of items that is the day. So, on January 1st, we're letting go of one item. January 15th, you're letting go of 15 items. You can play it that way, or you can play it the way I play it, which is basically I declutter on the Saturday, body doubling, and I add up what I do each Saturday and hope I get to the number of 496 items, but that's the community part, is that every Saturday we do a body doubling organizing session.
The way it works is we work together for 45 minutes, and then we take about 15 minutes, or 10 to 15 minutes depending on how quickly we got started, but that time is for us to take a break, but also to chat and update everyone on what they did in the last work session, ask any questions, and really, just be in community and supporting each other on this thing that we're doing that's really hard, and we do that three times on Saturdays, and it's from 10 AM to 1:00 PM Pacific. If you're on the East Coast, it's 1:00 PM to 4:00 PM. It's every Saturday in January. Oh, and the other thing we do is I have a webinar at the very beginning of the challenge, on helping you get started with different organizing tips, and then we have a closing webinar at the end of the challenge, to help you with organizing your stuff back and some maintenance ideas as well.
Pete Wright:
Personally, I really like the daily thing. I don't do well on Saturday. I find it hard to commit to that session, but I also really like the idea of taking a picture of the things I'm decluttering each day.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. Yeah.
Pete Wright:
And it doesn't actually take that long, because you get to day 15, and you declutter 15 things, but you notice like, "Oh. I have 16 things already for tomorrow." You're kind of already thinking ahead, and so that, for me, is really satisfying, that by the time you get to 31 things, and realize that 31 things in the scope of the 460 things you've already decluttered, is not that much.
Nikki Kinzer:
Right.
Pete Wright:
And it still makes an appreciable difference in your spaces.
Nikki Kinzer:
Oh, it sure does.
Pete Wright:
And I think that's really, really fun.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah.
Pete Wright:
The game is fun.
Nikki Kinzer:
It is fun.
Pete Wright:
Yeah. It's a good process.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. All right.
Pete Wright:
Anything else? Is that it? That's it?
Nikki Kinzer:
That's it. That's it.
Pete Wright:
That's the whole show.
Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah.
Pete Wright:
All right. May this declutter season bring you some sanity and some clarity. Hope you join us, and we appreciate you downloading and listening to this show. Thanks for your time and your attention. Don't forget, if you have something to contribute to the conversation, we're heading over to the Showtalk channel in our Discord server, and you can join us right there by becoming a supporting member at the deluxe level and better. On behalf of Nikki Kinzer, I'm Pete Wright, and we'll see you right back here next season-
Nikki Kinzer:
Next season.
Pete Wright:
... In January, on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast.
