Setting Boundaries: Learn to Say "No"

Welcome to the first blog post of 2017! 

This is the time where many of us decide to make some changes in the upcoming year. We call these "New Year's Resolutions.” I personally think any time of the year is a good time to improve your life, but I certainly understand the promise a new year brings for many. 

Recently, I read an interesting article about New Years Resolutions by Statistic Brain. I have to say these stats were anything but promising. 

Here are just a few:

  • 41% of Americans usually make New Year’s Resolutions
  • 9.2% of people felt they were successful in achieving their resolution 
  • People who explicitly make resolutions are ten times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions (That’s some good news!)
  • Only 44.8% maintain their resolutions past six months 

So what happens?

There are many reasons why resolutions don’t stick, but there is one in particular that I want to talk about, and that is not having the time. One of the reasons you may not have the time is because you are saying “yes” to things that don’t really matter as much. (I am so guilty of this!) 

When you say "yes" to something, you are saying "no" to something else. Unfortunately, for many of us, making ourselves a priority is the last priority. At some point, we have to set boundaries if we want to see real change in our lives. 

Tips to Saying "No" 

  • When someone asks you to commit to something, pause and do not answer immediately. Thank them for the opportunity and let them know you will get back to them as soon as possible. This will give you the time to reflect. Is this something you really want to do? Does it fit with your current schedule? What are you saying "no" to if you say "yes" to this? 
  • If it does not fit into your priorities, thank them for the opportunity and politely let them know it isn’t going to work. Stay firm and say it like you mean it. You don’t want to use words like "maybe" and be wishy-washy. 
  • Schedule your time and gate it for the most important things. If your goal is to exercise in the morning at 8 am, be sure to gate this time, protect it. Do not schedule appointments or let anything else compete during this time. 
  • Practice saying "no." Many folks with ADHD are people-pleasers and they don’t want to let anyone down. So the next time, it seems like an easy decision to say "no," look at it as practice and do it. Take the old belief that you have a hard time setting boundaries to the new belief that you can and let go of the guilt.

How do you set boundaries?

We would love to hear from you, please comment below or call us at 503-664-4ADD and get your voice on the podcast!  

Until Next Time, 

Nikki