How Comparison Can Sabotage Your Self-Compassion

Have you ever tried driving a car using only your sideview mirrors?

No, right? That would be crazy—not to mention dangerous.

I imagine you wouldn't get very far before you found yourself in some sort of accident.

So, if we wouldn't drive that way, why do we live that way—constantly looking at everyone around us, comparing ourselves to something we imagine we see in other people?

Compare and Despair

One of our very favorite guests to have on The ADHD Podcast, Dr. Sharon Saline, likes to refer to this behavior as "compare and despair".

In fact, Pete and I recently had Dr. Saline on the podcast to discuss this exact thing.

When you get right down to it, comparing yourself, your life, and your life with ADHD to those around you won't keep you going in the right direction. In fact, you may not go anywhere—frozen in place as you spend your time wishing you had what someone else has. That is no way to live life.

Learn to Repair

So, I have a challenge for you to try on your own the next time you find yourself driving with your inner sideview mirrors.

When you find you are mentally giving yourself a hard time for not being more like this person or that person, I want you to think back—use your inner "rearview mirror".

Where were you last month? Last year? 5 years ago?

Once you've done a check-in on where your past self was, take a look at where you are now.

Even if things have been hard lately, you're still here, right now, and that's something to celebrate!

And now, finally, let's all start looking ahead, through life's front windshield, and start moving forward once again!

Thank you for your time and attention,

Nikki