Tame Your Tolerations
What is a toleration?
Toleration is a word we use to describe an inconvenience or unfinished task that lingers in our lives. It often drains our energy without us realizing it. While the physical toleration may feel like it fades into the background as we get used to stepping over it, walking around it, or settling in to an adjusting routine to accommodate the toleration, having to deal with these slight inconveniences and workarounds can start to become an irritation that can slowly build over time.
Examples of Tolerations
Things that can be labeled as a toleration are not going to be debilitating or completely hinder your day-to-day existence. In fact, many tolerations can feel unimportant—even insignificant—to how you live your life. While they may seem insignificant on their own, they can collectively contribute to mental clutter and stress. That’s right—we can even have piles of tolerations.
Below, I have given a few examples of possible tolerations you may experience:
Broken dishwasher
Ever-growing pile of unopened mail on the counter
Cluttered, unorganized storage areas
Missing oven knob
Box of donations sitting by the back door—for the last 6 months
Notice that none of these examples will keep you from getting things done. Dishes can still be cleaned in the sink, the mail pile can continue to shift to different sides of the counter as you need the space, and the oven will still heat up your dinner, even if you feel silly turning it on with your new, handy wrench, now that the knob is gone.
Why does it matter?
Now that we’ve covered what a toleration is, you may be thinking, “if I can work around tolerations without them really messing up my day, why should I care or spend effort and energy fixing them when I could be using that time to work on my ever-growing to-do list?”
And, to you I say: You’re not wrong. I completely understand this line of thinking. In fact, I have had these same thoughts myself—especially when it comes to my garage. It feels a lot better to just continue ignoring the toleration and move on to anything else.
But—before you stop reading and move on to something else, I want to share a few fantastic benefits we can experience when we decide to tackle those tolerations:
Increased Clarity: By identifying and addressing your tolerations, you can reduce the mental noise that often tags along with ADHD. This clarity allows you to focus on more meaningful tasks and projects.
Enhanced Motivation: Tackling even the “smallest” of tolerations can lead to a huge sense of accomplishment. Whether it’s replacing a missing oven knob or triaging the countertop mail pile, completing these tasks can motivate you to take on larger projects.
Stress Reduction: Living with tolerations can create an underlying sense of anxiety and frustration—without even noticing it’s happening. Once you begin to address these issues, you’ll likely feel lighter and more at ease in your environment.
Empowerment: Learning to proactively tackle your tolerations can foster a sense of control over your life. It reinforces the idea that you can affect positive change in your environment—which is empowering for anyone—especially those with ADHD.
Improved Relationships: When you take care of your tolerations, you likely enhance your living space and reduce stress—benefits that positively impact your relationships with others. They’ll see a more organized and calmer version of you.
Now it’s your turn
Addressing tolerations is not just about improving your physical space; it’s about enhancing your mental health and overall quality of life.
I want to encourage you to take stock of the current tolerations in your life. Make a list of all those little annoyances that you have learned to live with. See if you can pick out a toleration that you can fix without too much effort. Then, give yourself an extra moment to mindfully look inward and see how you feel, now that the toleration is no longer a toleration.
You may discover that when you identify and tackle these small but significant issues, you pave the way for a more fulfilling and balanced existence.
Start small, choose a toleration, and take action. Your future self will thank you!
Thank you for your time and attention,
Nikki