Plans, Interrupted
You made a plan. A good one, even. And then…
life happened.
Maybe one of your kids got sick. Or maybe, a task took twice as long as expected. One disruption turned into three, and suddenly the whole day unraveled. Then, that familiar voice whispering, what is wrong with me?
First of all: nothing is wrong with you.
Here's what actually happened: you were trying to predict the future.
Predicting the Unpredictable
Every plan anyone creates is only ever built on the information from right now. But, your day-to-day life doesn't know—or care—about your plan.
Things change unexpectedly, time moves differently than you predicted, and your ADHD brain is trying to navigate all of it without the same management system running in the background that many people may take for granted.
That's not a character flaw. That's just how it is, sometimes.
And, if that’s all there was to it, I wouldn’t be writing about it, and you wouldn’t need to read about it. But, the part that hurts most and sticks around much longer than the original disruption is the story we tell about it.
When plans fall apart, ADHDers often take it personally. The comparisons begin and before you know it, you’re comparing yourself to some fantastical version of yourself or the person you "should" be—someone who has it all together, never runs late, never loses track of time. But, that should-version of yourself isn’t real, and comparing yourself to it isn't fair.
The shame spiral is real. But, it doesn’t have to be endless. The best way to start is with a little less shame and a lot more curiosity.
Moving from shame to curiosity
Instead of looking inward and wondering ‘what's wrong with me’, try looking outside yourself and asking: what's the friction here? What actually got in the way? What does my brain need today that it wasn't getting?
The more curious you are, the more answers and data you can get to help you better plan around the inevitable “life” that’s always ready to throw you a curveball.
Planning with an ADHD brain isn't about getting it “perfect”—it doesn’t exist. It's really about understanding how your brain actually works and building a system that is flexible enough to shift when the unexpected inevitably knocks at your door.
Your plans fall apart sometime, but that doesn't mean you have to fall apart.
I believe in you. You’ve got this!
Thank you for your time and attention,
Nikki